Syracuse State Of Mind

1) Who are you and what led you to open Fit Happens?

My name is Jade Seperack. I’m a lover of fitness, an eccentric crafter and a person who is passionate about making a change. I always knew I wanted to help people but didn’t know how. I thought it’d be through social work however once I started instructing Zumba, I realized that there are so many people whose lives can be changed by fitness. I love helping people find their best selves— so many men and women don’t even know of the confidence that can exist when you live a healthy lifestyle.

2) What type of background do you have when it comes to fitness?

First and foremost, I am a runner. I have always and will always run—it’s my outlet. I’d love to eventually do a marathon—someday! But professionally speaking, I am a licensed Zumba instructor and member of the Zumba instructor Network, am a certified personal trainer through National College of Sports Medicine, a children’s fitness specialist through IDEA and am Red Cross certified in Advanced CPR/AED and First Aid Training.

3) When will it open and what classes/features will be available to those who visit Fit Happens? What will the hours be when it opens?

Our grand opening will be June 3rd however we’ll be having a HUGE open house on May 25th from 1 PM-4 PM (free stuff galore!).

By way of services, we have Reiki (a Japanese technique used for relaxation and stress reduction for those of you who don’t know what it is) and a variety of massages, personal training ranging from 1-on-1 to 5-on-1 that is tailored to meet your needs, and then all sorts of group fitness classes. Our classes include yoga, pilates, PiYo, Zumba, Family Zumba, Kid’s yoga, Kid’s cardio, Senior Fitness Classes, Senior Chair Yoga, boot camp, warrior training program… the list really goes on and on.

4) What if anything sets you apart from other fitness centers in the Central New York area?

We have something for everyone. Now I know that some of the big name gyms in the area have a daycare so kid and mom can be taken care of… but where can you find a place that kid, mom AND grandma can all go to work out together? Very few. We have something to meet everyone’s needs and we have so many services going on at the same time.

Another thing is that at Fit Happens—we’re about quality not quantity. Those same big name gyms I mentioned before will get you in the door with some crazy introductory rate (say $1 for your first month), and membership is so cheap but there’s nothing that actually makes you get your butt in there. With us, you’ve got one trainer who is assigned to you and works to make sure you get the results you want. It’s not left up to you to make it in—or not because you’re too tired, you don’t have time, you’ll work out tomorrow etc. etc. Your trainer will call you if you miss a week and see what’s up, will work with and around your schedule, will be your motivation, your support system and your foundation for seeing the fitness results you want. You pay for what you get and at Fit Happens, you’re paying for quality. Amazing quality.

5) What type of payment plans/deals do you have available?

If you come to our Open House, you can sign up for any service at 50% off the list price. We have deals running all over (the newspaper, craigslist, LivingSocial etc. etc.).

As for payment plans, that’s another thing that makes us unique. People can mix and match our services to build their own package which will then be offered to them at a discounted price. That way you can meet all of your families needs, benefit from all of our services, and save money.

In addition, you can break any monthly plan down into payments if needed.

6) Can I just attend one class or do I need a membership?

We don’t do “memberships”. We request that you call ahead of time for classes however we do accept walk-ins. But if you’re just interested in one of our services—say Zumba or Boot Camp—then just come to Zumba or Boot Camp. But if you want the benefits provided by a trainer then you work to build a package—which might entail just personal training or might be personal training, a once weekly fitness class and a once monthly massage to relax after all that hard work. Who knows what you’re perfect package will be—well, we will if you call us!

7) What advice would you give someone just starting out on the fitness track in life?

Find something you enjoy. Seriously. It’s so much easier to lose weight or get in shape if you’re having fun. I do Zumba because it’s fun and makes me feel great about myself—the results I see from it are just an awesome byproduct.

8) How important do you think diet and nutrition are to living a fit life?

It’s not that they’re important to living a fit life—it’s that they’re important to living a life period. You need to be healthy. And until you are healthy, you will never really understand how much you did need it. It isn’t always easy getting there, but it’s worth it.

9) Who are some of your other staff members available and what type of training will they assist with?

Well for personal training, we’ve got Dale, John and Debbie. They are all awesome. So passionate about their work. That is why I picked them. Their passion will—without a doubt—become your passion.

For massages, we’ve got Derek. He’s equally awesome. His background is as a physical therapist’s assistant and it really shows in his work. He isn’t just working to relax you, he’s working to fix any issues you have, to heal any pains.

Melissa and Tammy are my Reiki Rockettes—they’re so much fun. The work they do is incredible and they work so amazingly together. For those who are seriously stressed out, I can’t “stress” enough how much they could seriously benefit from 30 minutes spent with Melissa and Tammy.

And then we have some other various instructors leading classes.

10) How would you respond if someone asked if they were too old, too young, or too out of shape to come to one of your classes?

There’s no such thing. We have something for every level. Whether you’re 3, 33, or 73—we have something for you. We have classes for those who want to get into shape, those who need to lose weight, and those who’re just looking for functional classes. We also have classes to expend all that pent-up energy your 7 year old feels after too long in front of the TV. We have all the fitness bases covered.

11) What if someone prefers some one on one training over classes, is this an option available at Fit Happens?

Oh yes. They’d meet with Dale, John or Debbie and figure out what best suits their needs. We have 1-on-1 training. We also have 5-on-1 training. You still get a personalized plan, you just spend a lot less money and are with other people. Which can be a great thing. You can learn about yourself with the help of four others. We only put groups together who are alike in their fitness and health capabilities.

12) This is your space to discuss anything I may have missed or something you would say to anyone who is reading this. The floor is yours so would you like to add any closing thoughts?

I’d love to thank you for the opportunity to be featured on your blog and just tell everyone that I appreciate any opportunity to work with them and hope they feel free to contact me with any questions!

You can find out more about Jade and Fit Happens at their website and on Twitter! Thank you Jade for your time.

One thing I have found in dealing with my depression is finding ways to cut down on things that produce stress. An area I found needed some real work and actually helps me is finding ways to enjoy driving (or at least relaxing more when I do). I learned that it is hard to start your day off relaxed or have a good attitude when you get home from work if you allow traffic to upset you. Think about it, how often do you walk into work upset about how stressful your drive was or walk in the door of your house and take that frustration out on those you love? Is it truly worth it?

Now I am not saying that at times I do not have issues myself. It drive me nuts when people swerve in and out of lanes like a mad person or speed up in a lane that is ending just to get ahead of you or worse, refuse to use turn signals. However I have found those issues and others more tolerable when I take time to adapt more to my environment.

So since this is Stress Awareness Month, I wanted to take a few minutes and share ways I handle it. You see, every morning I wake up to this beautiful smiling face discussing the traffic and I think to myself, “You know, Brittany Begley’s job would be so much easier if people would relax more and drive with less stress.” Brittany and I even discussed on Twitter how much better life would be if people lived more #stressfree. So hopefully I am not stealing her thunder or that of my friends Lou and Marilyn by posting these but here is what works for me.

- Leaving Early: I know this seems easy and sometimes can’t be helped when the kids are running behind, the wife hates her outfit or the husband is waiting for that last minute of the game to end but it can make a huge difference in your attitude when driving. If you start off late, you are rushing in your mind when in fact, there is likely not much time you will cut down anyway no matter how much you stress over it. This also allows you more time should the car need warming up, you catch every stoplight along the way or there is an accident ahead.

- Set The Mood: Find the right music or talk format that helps you relax. If relaxing music does not work for you, have fun with the music you choose or select a radio show that makes you laugh (I enjoy The Show on KROCK for my morning drive). If you like your music with a thumping bass or amped up guitar, I say go for and play some rock band while you are at it. Why worry about them when it is likely you will never see them ever again…hey, you never know, they may rock out along with you. Don’t worry about the other drivers; have fun and enjoy yourself. My music/radio programming depends mostly on my mood but one of my favorites when I need to relax is this:

- Breathe and Enjoy The Scenery: Whether it is Syracuse, Charlotte or the beach, every place has a view worth enjoying. The bigger issue is not the trash on the side of the road or the climate but your perception of that view. You see, I love a beach view as much as anyone and find it so relaxing but we are surrounded by living things and miracles everyday and I look to enjoy and appreciate those miracles. Don’t get too distracted that you lose track of your driving but noticing little things can help you not worry about that car ahead driving 45 in a 55 that will normally make you snap.

- The Space Between: One thing I notice when others drive is how closely we follow people when we are in traffic. WHY? Is it really worth risking your life or a potential accident just to upset the driver in front of you and maybe get somewhere a few seconds earlier? You know one sad reality about this post is that I see these accident reports where someone lost their life and I wonder how it could have been prevented and why we are willing to risk so much when many accidents can be avoided by simply giving some space.

- And finally…Be Kind: It is truly sad how selfish people are when they drive. Will it really hurt you to let someone pull out in front of you, especially if you follow the last step and leave some space between you and the car in front of you. Now I am not saying slam on the brakes at 55MPH and let someone out but if you notice someone trying to merge, you could slow down some and allow the space to show an opening to them. Or if you are stopped at a light and someone is trying to get out, let them go. Not only can a little consideration help you avoid an accident but if can help you and the other person have a better day. Just picture yourself in their shoes wishing someone was kind to you.

Now I write these thinking some may trivialize them and that is fine as I understand not everyone likes the same things and some people will find these foolish. These are things I use that in time have helped make my drives a lot better. I may not be able to help everyone but if just one person reads this post and maybe tries these methods and it helps, I am thankful. I remember being in a hurry and driving like every second mattered but then I took time to realize sometimes the risk is greater than the reward and if we allow ourselves time to not stress over things like traffic, it can have a domino effect on the rest of our lives.

No matter whether you follow these tips or have your own method, the world is a better place when we all drive more stress free and with consideration for others. And again, I am not perfect but I find that when I allow these simple things to impact how I drive, I am a happier person and my drive to and from work is a lot more tolerable. I hope these help you and please, as funny as this is, do not do this to your fellow drivers:

Due to the awesome responses I received from my last post My Battle With Depression & How Syracuse Plays A Role In Helping Me Cope, I felt like I wanted to do a follow up before I return to my fun times in Syracuse posts again. In my earlier posted, I stated a few things that helped me cope but I wanted to discuss those a bit more.

Now to be fair, there are many factors that help me cope but today I will share my top 12 (in no particular order).I would also like to add that I am not an expert and if you know someone suffering, please guide them to seek help (as you will see later, I did and it helped). I would also like to add that these are just things that help me. If you have depression issues, your list would likely vary but these are things that help me out a lot in my everyday life.

Without further ado, I now present to you my 12 Things I Use To Cope With My Depression:

1) My Family: As I noted in my previous post, I have an awesome, loving, and supportive family who I would do anything for. If you read it though, I noted that as awesome as they were, I still looked past it and could not feel myself getting out despite their love. Once things clicked more however, I was able to see them and appreciate them even more now than ever. Now I enjoy my interacting with them more (though I am sure they will tell you I still have my withdrawn moments) and I feel the love deeper now than I did before. Again, let me reiterate that you do not just snap out of depression…it takes time and even when you are better, it is still inside you waiting for that moment to pounce.

2) My Friends: Let me start this by saying that when I say friends, my definition may not match yours. I do not go to bars (or anywhere really) and have friends that I hang out with. I know some do not consider people you meet on the internet friends but I disagree. I have met some awesome people on social media (especially Twitter) and some I have met in person such as these:

These are just a small sample of some of the awesome friends I have made “on the internet” who make a difference in my life. There are too many to list here today but I just want to say thank you to anyone I follow, friend, or who reads my blog. You are very real to me and I love and respect you for who you are and what you mean to me.

3) My Work/Co-Workers: In 2009, I was laid off from a very good paying job. It was my third time from the same company but the money and benefits were too much to ignore so I went back, despite the lack of stability over the 10 years I worked there. In 2011, I was hired at the NASCAR Technical Institute and I have never been as happy in my life. I am the Receiving Coordinator who also helps with our student store, internal communications & a few others things from time to time as help is needed. The other great aspect of my job is being surrounded by some awesome co-workers and managers who make coming to work such a pleasure. I have found it is a whole lot easier to motivate yourself to get up in the morning when you know you look forward to your job and seeing everyone. I am also surrounded by people not afraid to say that appreciate you and your work and that to me makes a difference. I miss many of my former co-workers but this feels to me more like a family atmosphere and I love helping any way that I can students who have a dream and are working hard to achieve it.

4) Medications/Therapy: I need to make it crystal clear that I have in the past, sought out therapy and used medications. They were a great help once I admitted I needed it. The key to this is being open and honest about your issues as well as finding the right person who you feel helps you out. You will not walk out of a session cured but sometimes you have a better understanding about your situation and maybe some suggestions to help. I have tried various medications but I truthfully Xanax was the only one that I felt helped but then again, I also felt so numb. There is a very good chance that at some point, I may need to use them again but for now, I am fine without them. If you know someone who is showing signs, encourage them to get help and ensure them that it is okay to ask for help because you care and they are not weak but simply sick and need to see a doctor just like they would if they had the flu.

5) Writing/Blogging: So as you can see, sometimes I truly enjoy writing for therapy. This was actually a recommendation from one of the therapists based on my writing poetry over the years occasionally. I am that guy who will write a book in a website comment section simply because when I feel the urge, I sometimes have a lot to say. Blogging is also a great cure. I have not made a penny off of this blog; I simply do it for therapy and fun. I even wrote a book once titled Jake’s Fate that I had published (despite the horrible editing) to help me cope with the loss of my special friend in 2003.

It is not our story but simply based on a short story I wrote to distract me (the editing issues came about when stretching it and trying to do so hastily due to being out of work). It’s been 10 years this may since she left and I still think about her a lot. Here is a poem about her I wrote shortly after my “Jenny” passed away for another blog I started long ago called Sharing The Words From My Heart And Soul:

I Miss The Piano
Nothing was ever more captivating
Her playing was breath taking
I could listen to her all day long
I was drawn in and nothing was wrong
All my pains and sorrow would disappear
She played the most beautiful music heard
Watching her emotion poured out on the keys
Her fingers could make Jello of my knees

Since she’s been gone my life has changed
The sound of music has not been the same
Anytime I hear a concerto, I think about her
I miss the piano and I miss the way we were

I miss her passion, I miss the harmony
I was so fortunate when she played for me
I loved how it made her feel inside
Expressing herself whether she laughed or cried
No matter if it was Mozart or Billy Joel
She opened up her heart and her soul
I know in Heaven they hear the most beautiful sounds
It’s no coincidence that God wanted her around

She showed me class and brought me happiness
She deserved the best and nothing less
Being with her was a dream that came true
I miss the piano and damn I miss her too

No more warm up exercises, no more crescendo
No more sparkle in her eyes, I truly miss her so
Now every time I hear Joel’s “She’s Got A Way”
I listen to every word and note that he plays
She was taken away from us much too soon
We never got to share the stars and the moon
I would give up every thing if I could
To see her sitting next to some baby grand wood
It’s not fair that my life has to continue
When I miss the piano and I miss loving you
I miss you playing the piano but most of all, I miss you

6) Positive Quotes: I share these often with my co-workers and on Twitter and Facebook not just hoping others will like them but because sometimes I need a reminder as well. My favorites are usually Mother Teresa or the Dalai Lama but I like mixing them up and sometimes I prefer the funnier ones over the more inspirational, just depends on my mood. I find it can be good to think differently and find inspiration in others at times.

7) Funny Videos/Movies/TV Shows/Good Music: These are often overlooked when it applies to methods to help you but they can be. I love a good love song but some can also get you down. I sometimes start off my day with upbeat positive music to help lift me up. The same goes with movies or TV in that I can appreciate a great story even if it is sad but I prefer to laugh and enjoy my life so that what I look for often times in other forums. In fact, some days at work, I will use my phone and play YouTube videos most of the day, especially clips from Scrubs or Big Bang Theory or classic TV shows that always made me laugh like this clip from one of my all time favorite comedies The Carol Burnett Show:

or this one from Whose Line Is It Anyway, which I think is one of the funniest clips in TV history (and I watch a lot of TV…my first book I learned to read was the TV Guide haha):

8) Taking The Time To Enjoy The View Of Life: Instead of stressing out about that drive home from work, have you ever taken the time to marvel at the many miracles that surround you? Have you ever just noticed the sunset in the distance or watched someone stressing in their car and wondered how bad their day had been? Sometimes at work, I will just go outside and stare off into the distance and just enjoy the view. A beach view is gorgeous and a mountainous view is spectacular but look around where you are and I bet you can find the beauty beside you. Sometimes as the saying goes, you need to take a little time to smell the roses or maybe just look at the beautiful family you have and marvel at the miracles of how one night together with a loved one brought something so beautiful into this world.

9) Relaxation/Meditation/Massage: I have to say, many will dismiss this but do not knock it until you have tried it with an open mind. Almost 20 years ago, I started using massage therapy to help with back pains and what I found it that it is good for the body and the mind when done properly. You have to try to relax as best you can and I assure you that you will enjoy it. I am a tense & timid person by nature but once I tried it and tried opening my mind to these, as well as the previous idea of just enjoying the views, I found myself better off. Once upon a time, I used mediation music to help me sleep but what I found was if you can sit down for a few minutes and meditate as well, sometimes those few minutes of clarity can carry you a long way. It may take some time for you to achieve that relaxation point where you can appreciate it but once you do, it is so worth it. Sometimes you can even just sit on the beach and listen as the waves crash the shore and relax enough to let your mind escape the stress that previously bothered you. I used to think it was all fake and the people were crazy until I tried it and now I crave it, especially a great massage from Armory Massage.

10) Helping Others: This is honestly my favorite one most of the time. Call it selfish if you want but I love when I help someone and I see that smile on their face. I do not have the means to do much but sometimes the little things go a long way with me and so I return the favor. Occasionally I will put some money in a vending machine to help the next person out or stay holding a door extra longer for someone. Sometimes the one thing that works on me the most is simply sharing a smile. Ever see someone down and want to help? Sometimes a simple greeting and/or a smile can be enough. Nothing attracts me to a person more than a smile.

11) Comfort Food/Drinks/Lifestyle: Be comfortable in your own skin. Unless you are going on a date or a job interview, do not dress to impress…dress to make yourself happy. Of course, this is coming from a single guy who loves to wear bright orange suspenders but at least they make me feel comfortable and happy when I wear them.

As far as food and drinks, I say if you have foods and drinks you enjoy, have at them but do so in moderation. Yes, I drink a lot of Mountain Dew but it is not only my favorite drink but also my source of caffeine (and I also cut myself off at lunch time and drink water/Gatorade/Powerade for the rest of the day). I tried the diet and exercise routine and I have a lot of love and respect for those who do but it is just not me. I am happier with a good pizza, some wings or some chicken tenders. I like snacks like halfmoons but I also do not eat more than one or two at a time. I love when I am back in Syracuse because that is when I can enjoy my halfmoons, Hofmanns and some delicious pizza.

12) Syracuse: I guess you could say I saved the most relevant to this blog for last and you would be correct. The city has impacted me so much over the years that as you can see, many of the others were impacted by it. Also let me clarify that Syracuse also covers the awesome university on the hill that as a kid I read about in college catalogs at the Sullivan Free Library in Bridgeport, NY. I love all things Orange and Syracuse because of the awesome communities combined between the university, the city and all of CNY. I love my visits when I am able to do so and see all the sites I remember in my head every day as well as my family and friends who mean so much to me (and the food is awesome too). I love reading Tweets from people who see the same beauty that I see and enjoy their time. I love the sports community, especially Syracuse football which will always be my #1 favorite sports team. If you can’t see the beauty in Syracuse, or some city where you live or come from, I genuinely feel sorry for you and would ask that maybe you just need to change the view you see and open your eyes to a new beginning.

So those are just some of the ways I use to cope with my depression. You may have others and if so, please feel free to share them with me and others. Depression is not something to be ashamed of but instead it is something we should discuss and be sure that people suffering know that there is a way out and that life will get better in time if you give it a chance.

In fact, let it be known that when my time comes and I am no longer on this Earth, it is my sincere hope the last laugh is on me because I want my memorial to be filled with fun music that makes people laugh, maybe dress me up in a costume for their amusement (or my SU football jersey), maybe have them turn my face into a silly face with my tongue sticking out, put a fart machine in the casket with me, have some pizza and drinks on hand (an open bar funeral sounds like a fun time to me), and I don’t care where the Army buries me just as long as we have one heck of a party on the way out (heck, donate my body to science if you want, I don’t care, I won’t be in it anymore haha). And it is my most sincere hope that those who will remember me, will do so with a smile and greet someone else with a smile knowing that though I may not be here anymore, my wish is that you enjoy your life and help those around you enjoy it as well.

Thank you again for allowing me to vent and just know that I am thankful to have you in my life and as the song goes, thank you for being a friend

“That’s the thing about depression: A human being can survive almost anything, as long as she sees the end in sight. But depression is so insidious, and it compounds daily, that it’s impossible to ever see the end. The fog is like a cage without a key.”
Elizabeth Wurtzel

“A lot of people don’t realize that depression is an illness. I don’t wish it on anyone, but if they would know how it feels, I swear they would think twice before they just shrug it.”
Jonathan Davis

Earlier today on Twitter, I went on a multiple tweet binge discussing my issues with depression based on a story I saw tweeted about a 22 year old tennis player named Rebecca Marino. This young lady gave up her tennis career for fear of life in the public eye and her inability to cope based on her suffering from depression. If you would like to read more about Rebecca, here is the link. This led me to discuss a bit about my experience with it and despite the multiple tweets, later I felt as though I needed to discuss it further…hence this blog post.

Many who know me know I am a silly, enjoy life kind of guy. I mean to be fair, I post pictures of myself next to Otto and claim he/she is my BFF and also pose every time I am back in Syracuse next to a statue of a cement Turtle. But those who know me best know that there is a counter to that and I have moments where I just want to be left alone and sink into a hole of misery. Now to be fair, at 40, I cope a lot better than I did at say 23 but I still have my moments. I did try multiple therapists and medications and some helped me cope for the moment while others actually just caused other issues (the most successful in my opinion was Xanax but then again, I was so numb on it that I didn’t feel anything but at least I didn’t have side effects). I have also found more ways to cope with it when I feel it coming on and found ways to enjoy life more now than I did but it hasn’t always been that way.

My issues go back even as far as my childhood when I remember feeling depressed about life and think of ways to run away from home or wishing something would happen to me because my grades were terrible. Before I go on, let me preface this by saying that my family is awesome and supportive and this had nothing to do with them but more to do with me and not feeling like I belonged. I would try hard to overcompensate to fit in and belong but still felt awkward and left out often more than I felt like I had a purpose. I even tried to “fit in” by picking fights who annoyed me or the more popular kids but later realized it was not be and I became a bully victim more times than not myself and often sat with the less popular kids or by myself. Other than baseball, wrestling, fantasizing about Syracuse University and time with my family, most of my childhood memories are filled with uncertainty and depression.

My Army days were no exception. I can honestly tell you as I type this that my most vivid memories of my time in the Army involve sitting on a third story ledge wondering what my purpose was in life and the aftermath of a nervous breakdown that involved me punching out a Humvee windshield before banging my hand against a steering wheel for a long period of time. I sought help but I was not ready to face my true demons and I was mostly treated due to my heavy alcohol intake (but to fair, it was Germany and that beer is awesome). The only two things that kept me on that ledge and not jumping to the ground was the constant image of someone breaking the news to my family (especially my mom and dad) and a certain special friend who turned out to be one of the biggest reasons I am who I am now and not done anything stupid.

My twenties were met with further insecurities and days where I would not leave the house. I was sometimes miserable to be around or did not know how to control my emotions. I felt alone and lost and no therapy or pills were helping. Most of my 20′s honestly are just visions of me doing nothing but drinking and hanging out at my apartment all day when I was not working (and sometimes calling into work just because I could not get myself motivated). I once had a doctor tell me I should just make a few adjustments and I would “snap right out of it” which trust me, is not great advice to someone dealing with this.

A lot changed one night when I had a dream that involved that special friend who I had not seen in well over 10 years. You could call her a school boy crush but she was also a very close friend. We were never boyfriend and girlfriend and never intimate but I can remember vividly the night she had a bad night and I held her in my arms stroking her hair as she fell asleep or the time we both fell asleep while talking on the phone for hours. I can still remember the first time I saw her in the break room where we worked together. But this dream was not a reminder of that but sadly a nightmare of her passing away with me never having the chance to express my true feeling towards her.

You see, sometimes in life someone crosses your path and they make an impression in your life so strong that it is like in imprint on your soul and she was that one. She was the Jenny to my Forrest Gump and on this night, I felt this need to find her and tell her. Even though we lost touch, I thought about her everyday and sometimes would look at the stars at night and wander if she was also wherever she was. So I used a friends Classmate account and tracked her down. I told her the whole story and we met up and talked about some things and needless to say, this was the talk I should have had in 1990, not in 2002 but it helped. Six months later, this friend passed away but I do not regret my actions because if not for that dream, I sit here before you now and tell you that I have no idea how I would have handled life but she prepared me well. Sure, I needed the Xanax initially to cope with her lose because to say it hurt would be like saying shooting your foot off may cause some pain but I remember her telling me that I needed to live on and enjoy life if something like that happens. So when I woke to a dream that someone I loved was gone and found out it was her, I had issues but I also remembered how thankful I was for that moment.

I give her a lot of credit for helping me as well as my family and friends who surround me but there is another part of this story that relates to this blog and the title and that is how Syracuse plays a role. Sure, you can point to the crime and down economy of Syracuse and bash it if you want but I contend that is everywhere including limited by your interpretation of a city I love. The memories of the area keep me going but so do the family and friends I have there. Thanks to the power of Twitter, I now have more Syracuse friends who make me feel apart of the city even though I am 12 hours away. I have people I probably never would have talked to whom I love and have the upmost respect for who lift me up when I am feeling down. I know there are awesome people in Syracuse who are just as compassionate and loving as anywhere else in the world. There is a great community surround Central New York in reality and on Twitter if you are willing to respect others and take the time to find them. Why do they make such a big difference? Maybe this video explains it:

Sure, just like Syracuse, Twitter is perception and if you see and perceive it to be a boring or negative place it can be but I have found some awesome people who at times feel like an extended family that help make my life better. And I have some awesome family back in NY who I love and miss everyday who are very special to me as well. Sure, I love my Hofmanns, Tully’s, Sami’s Pizza and trips to Wegmans but what makes part of that special is sharing it with people I care about. You see, part of my family is here in North Carolina now (along with the greatest job I have ever had) and so I will likely never move back but I always feel apart of it as long as I interact with these people. And as such, I feel like I belong and that helps as well. I am accepted by people with college degrees who never belittle me for my lack of one and by those like me who never succeeded at that goal. Some are big sports fans while others just appreciate the city as much as I do and I respect and love them either way.

To be fair, a lot of things played a role in why I cope better these days. I have always had a loving, supportive family who I now appreciate more. I have a job and co-workers that I look forward to everyday. I adopted an awesome girl who is now 24, married and with a beautiful granddaughter. I make more trips back to NY with my parents to enjoy the sites and family back there. Instead of meds, I have found comfort in simply things such as music, quotes, funny shows/movies/video clips. And I have found friends who accept me for me and I no longer feel out of place (though I do occasionally still find myself trying to overcompensate to fit in). Sure I still have my bad times, especially at night when sleeping alone or when I long for a relationship but these days, I have better coping mechanisms to help me handle them.

I want to say thank you to those close to me who do love me unconditionally because it did make a difference. To those who are going through depression, or know someone who is, I ask that you be patient and kind towards them as it will go a long way one day. Be there for them and find subtle ways to get them to do things they enjoy but don’t force it or belittle their emotions. Also, listening and friendly gestures (and if they are open to listening, recommending counseling as well) are major helps. Sometimes a simple smile or a simple good deed can be a great lift when you feel like nobody cares (or help others to find their smile because I know that helps me often). If my interaction with “my Jenny” and other family and friends whom I have lost over the years has taught me anything, it is that life is precious and short and we should enjoy it while we can. So if pictures of your loved one or your pet (who may be your loved one) are what cheer you up, surround yourself with them and do not let others judge you. If writing works for you like it does for me, write until your hand is numb and your ideas are exhausted. As long as you are not hurting anyone, enjoy this life while we have it. And I recommend you surround yourself with encouraging, positive people who lift you up and always try to find to look on the bright side of life.

“Spread love everywhere you go. Let no one ever come to you without leaving happier.”
Mother Teresa

I get asked often why I love Syracuse so much when I live in another state. I get told about all the job losses, high taxes and crappy weather. People point to the poverty and crime rates (to which, I would ask you to look around at our country as a whole and show me where Utopia is if you wish to avoid these). They think I simply have a case of grass being greener on the other side or obsessing over name brands like Tully’s or Hofmann’s or items like halfmoon cookies and salt potatoes.

Okay so items such as those places and foods and my family still living there may play a role but today on Twitter appeared a video to explain why I love Syracuse and believe in it so much. It is about things like Armory Square, the Erie Canal, Syracuse University, Burnette Park Zoo, and many other great places that surround the area. It is also about the people in the Syracuse/CNY who care about the community and are doing great things to help it grow.

Thank you James Domroe for making this awesome video showing the potential and great people doing great things for the city/area that I love and a reminder that maybe I am not the one who believes the grass is greener elsewhere and overlooking how beautiful things are around me (to be fair, I love where I live too but Syracuse will always be my home).

WE ARE SYRACUSE!

WE ARE SYRACUSE from james domroe on Vimeo.

So today I saw a fun topic discussed on Twitter from syracuse.com and The Post Standard and I thought I would add my two cents. Oh sure, I added it on Twitter in 140 characters and submitted some on the website in the comment section but after thinking about it, I wanted to add my top 3 serious points and top 3 fun points. So here is my list but feel free to add yours if you have something you would love to see either in the comment section here or in the original article, which you can find here.

Top Three Fun Changes:

3. Paint The Streets (or at least some) Orange: Think about how cool it would be if they paint the streets, and maybe even the public transportation orange. It would stick out and make the city unique. It is the same reason I said that if I opened up a sports bar, I would paint it neon orange. Why not just embrace some uniqueness and your Orange spirit. Heck, I would even paint the mayor’s house orange.

2. Friday Fun Day: Work with local businesses and school to shut down early on the last Friday of the month so families can enjoy some time together. In conjunction with this, offer festivals and concert discounts held on these dates. I understand we are a industrial nation and I have no problem with that but I do believe one problem we face in this country is working too much and alienating the ones we love. I am 40 and still some of my best memories as a kid are when dad was off work and we had family time together. Obviously some businesses would laugh this off and some would need to stay open but I think this will also help attract employees to companies that show they truly care about the wellness of their employees. Just my opinion but I find people in general are happier when they have incentives such as this at work and get to spend time either relaxing or with family.

1. The Syracuse Lottery: Each week, there would be a drawing. Tickets are sold throughout Central New York for $2 a piece. Each week there would be a drawing for $100 cash and a local gift package (which could either be free tickets to an upcoming event with transportation thrown in or various gift cards to local businesses). Half the proceeds would go to different causes each week such as one week they would go to a local school district and another a local charity and the other half into the city budget.

Top Three Serious Changes:

3. Rename The Carrier Dome: One of the most famous building in Syracuse is named after a company that is no longer apart of Syracuse. It has become a running joke that not only is Carrier no longer in Syracuse (or at least the way it was) but that the building is named after a air conditioning company and lacks air itself. I don’t care if you call it the Hofmann’s Hot Haus, the Tully’s Tender Dome or the Mountain Dew Dome, just get rid of that name.

2. Encourage Manufacturing/Labor Jobs To Come Back/Start New: I love that Syracuse is attracting technology jobs and I find that a blessing. However, when Syracuse (and many cities) thrived, it was when you average manufacturing and warehouse jobs were thriving and paying residents a decent wage. Mock the guy making $20 an hour without a masters degree but not only are most of these jobs a lot of hard work and long hours but they pay well which reciprocates into the local economy. When people work, they go out to eat and they shop for their family. They pay taxes out of their paychecks, they pay taxes when they purchase items and they help local businesses. Trust me when I say this, education incentives are great but not every person is fit to become an electrical engineer or get a degree period. Many great citizens of this country are willing to work hard for a decent wage to provide for their family and that is how this country was built. When I run into people from upstate New York here in the south, the weather is a consideration but the two biggest reasons they left were high cost of living and chasing jobs, especially in the manufacturing field.

1. Promote Local Businesses: I can’t stress enough how much this needs to be a priority. One of my favorite parts of doing his blog is when I can find a great local business in the Syracuse/CNY area and show why it deserves attention. I am a name brand whore when I visit Syracuse because I believe in the local economy. If I was mayor of Syracuse, I would do my press conferences surrounded by local items like a Cafe Kabul coffee cup, the Tully’s mascot, a Syracuse First shirt (which you can purchase here) and Fuccillo flexing in the background.

I would hold monthly town hall meeting at local establishments and get feedback on things we need to improve. I would help those businesses prospering do even more such as franchising, including outside the state. Imagine if Dino BBQ sauce or Hofmann’s became national successes and the manufacturing of their products stayed in the CNY area? Or what if one of my favorite places to shop in Cicero called Spera’s Market expanded into more than one local store? What if the Farmer’s Market was promoted more or a mall like Shoppingtown Mall was filled with primarily small, local businesses (don’t compete with Carousel Mall; offer something different)? Or every time a story hits and they want my comment, I just happen to have them there as a back drop? And what about a TV show that focuses primarily on local businesses? For the record, I do not hate big business but most big businesses started as small businesses and most small businesses generally give more back to the local economy.

So those are my ideas. Obviously, there are many more qualified than me to fill this position and with a lot better ideas than mine but these are the ones I thought of today when I say the original article. I love Syracuse so finding things I would change was not easy but these as you can see are just modest improvements that I personally think would make the area better. I still get excited traveling 81 North and seeing the Syracuse signs and especially the Dome in the background to signify that I am back home and I merely want to see the area grow to allow others to enjoy it as much as I do.

So those who grew up in the Syracuse area or watched the above episode of Travel Channel’s Man Vs Food, you are familiar with the frittata. Mother’s Cupboard is famous for it but many others in the area do a great job with them as well. In fact, for years I looked forward to my visits to the local diner in Bridgeport just so I could enjoy one from them (which one time led to a funny story about my uncle refusing to give his daughter a sip of his orange juice as she was choking but that is for another post).

Lately I thought I have heard a lot about breakfast pizzas. Now, I am not going to say they are not available here in North Carolina because it may be possible but if it is, I am unaware of a place near me that has it. However in Syracuse there are several places apparently and during my last visit I tried one. Needless to say, I had to try it and on my last trip to Syracuse, I did.

Now my last trip was marred by terrible weather that limited my ability to get around so it was not until the day we were heading out that I finally got to try it. Now to be fair, when I am back in Syracuse, one stop I have always made in the past couple years is to Nice N Easy Grocery/Convenient stores, though this was my first time around breakfast time. Having heard they had great breakfast pizza, I made sure to stop and grab up that and some Mountain Dew and not only was the rumor proven true, I was genuinely shocked at just how delicious it truly was.

Let me just put it to you like this. I got the slice, drove for an hour, ate it cold and it was still one of the best slices of pizza I have ever had. In fact, if I had access to that pizza for breakfast every morning, I would either have to get a gym membership or weigh my 255 pound frame would probably be doubled by now. I was driving when I first got it and decided against driving and eating so I waited an hour for dad to take his turn and I instantly felt what Romeo must have felt like when he first saw Juliet when I got the chance to eat it. I highly recommend it and if you want to learn more about the awesome business and why I enjoy stopping there, check out the Nice N Easy website site here…and know they also have an awesome app that has great deals when you stop in and has a locator option that tells you the gas prices as well (also for those of you who support local businesses, Nice N Easy started in the area in 1980).

So after this last visit and discussing breakfast pizza with others on Twitter, I am left to wonder which of these items is the item most identify with Syracuse: the frittata or the breakfast pizza? I have to admit that as much as I love the frittata, I may be leaning in the direction of pizza (which probably won’t shock many people who know me well). Or is it just a matter of living in a great place with such great options. What is your favorite breakfast choice in Syracuse/CNY?

Most people who know me very well know I have a favorite spot I love to visit when I am in Syracuse. It is a place I have enjoyed many times with family and friends and I always look forward to my visits. It is a place filled with Syracuse memorabilia and it made my visits more special. In fact, some may say I have gone a bit overboard in my love for them over the years in social media especially and it started to become a caricature of my online personality but I had fun with it (I once even made up a fake Twitter for Tully The Turtle when I first started on Twitter labeling it fake everywhere but people kept mistaking it for the real thing). I wrote about them in my book and it has become a ritual to have my picture taken with the mascot outside the premises. This place is in fact Tully’s Good Times.

As some of you may know, or maybe perceived by the title however recently after a visit to the North Syracuse location, I posted some very unhappy tweets about my recent experiences and proclaimed that I was looking for a new favorite spot in Syracuse. Let me preface this by saying though that I have been going to Tully’s for many years and never had a single complaint which is why I raved about it every chance I got.

So what happened? This past year, I was fortunate enough to travel to Syracuse to visit family a few times. My mother has Alzheimers disease so my family and I are trying to take her back often to visit family and friends in the area while she is still cognizant of who they are. During the previous two trips, I got sick after eating a couple Tender plates. I never spoke up because I simply just thought maybe it was odd timing or nerves because I do have a nervous stomach.

During my recent visit, in which the photo above was taken, I went there for dinner with 5 family members. I will not go into specifics because they are not relevant but needless to say, 4 of the 6 meals were unsatisfactory and we felt like our complaints were not really being heard (though in defense of the staff, our waitress and the manager were very courteous). Out of emotion, we were barely in the car when I tweeted that I was done with Tully’s, which in all honesty, even though I know people know I love them, never thought would spark the attention that it did on Twitter. My family and I swore we would never return. I even told my family to take the $30 gift card I had just received and put it towards the bill since I would not need it anymore.

On January 3rd, I received a couple tweets from the Tully’s Twitter account asking for more information:

Tully’s Good Times ‏@TullysGoodTimes
@OrangeChuck we can’t fix a problem if you don’t let us know about it! Please tell us about your experience at http://tullysgoodtimes.com

@orangechuck: I know that Chuck! You’ve been a fan a long time. I appreciate the opportunity to make it right!

I am not a bitter person and I do not like to hold grudges (although I can actually shut people out if I need to). Due to the past experiences, I felt I owed it to them and myself to air my grievances privately on their feedback section, which in hindsight maybe should have been my second route after we did discuss it with the staff that night but left unsatisfied. I assure you that it was a very lengthy note including my past history good and bad with the franchise.

Yesterday afternoon, I received a call from someone with Tully’s management about my complaint (I apologize for not remembering his name). It was not a simple apology as this gentleman and I discussed at length my issues and he was genuinely interested in everything I had to say. He apologized for the bad experiences and I apologized for such a bad public display of emotion instead of taking a few minutes to breath and look at other forums to voice my opinions. I do have to say that between this call and my interaction with their Twitter account, I finally felt as though my voice was being heard and they genuinely cared about how I felt.

So what did I learn from this whole ordeal and where do we stand now? Well, I learned that sometimes even though social media is readily available to voice your concerns, maybe sometimes you need to step away from the keyboard before you talk and see if you have exhausted all avenues before you publicly embarrass someone, which I assure you was not my intention. I learned that sometimes we all have bad experiences and I know I have my share of bad days and I would hate it if someone called me out publicly when I did. I learned that maybe a 20 hour drive from hell can make you a bit edgier and possibly make matters worse when something goes wrong. I learned that it appears Tully’s has management who truly seem to want customers to have a great experience and are willing to go the extra step to ensure it if they can.

And as for where I stand with my return one day? I can honestly say that the discussions I had made me more open to the possibilities. I am not sure what happens next but I do know that the way Tully’s handled it after the fact has left the door ajar when I truly thought it was not only padlocked but vault sealed. I like to think I am a very forgiving person but it takes a lot to make me forget so only time will tell. I may no longer be debating whether my next tattoo will be Otto or Tully The Turtle anymore but I also am open to believing that despite more than one bad experience for me (and my family actually), it is possible things can be repaired one day. I like to think optimistically and either way I have no ill will towards Tully’s and hope people continue to enjoy their establishments.

This Friday will be the last time I will hear my favorite opening in radio, “On the block is on…the …air”. I intended to write this column later this week but with the unpredictability of life, I decided to do this now and send my best wishes to a man who, while listening to him, makes me feel like I am talking to a friend, Brent Axe. He has not publicly stated where he is going but announced last week that he is leaving his radio gig to try something else.

This is not a post about me breaking the news because there were two great articles put out Friday written by Sean Keeley on Nunes Magician blog and the good folks over at CNYRadio who had some great detail about the specifics and his radio history. This is just me sharing why Brent and his show meant a lot to me.

For years now, whenever possible, my sports talk radio has revolved around one person and that is Brent Axe (and Dan Patrick occasionally). It first started when I found him doing afternoon live podcasts with the chat room enabled and could interact with him. When he took the job with The Score 1260, I followed him as best I could from North Carolina, first via the internet when I was home and then by phone apps.

Brent and I have disagreed on various subjects (the retirement of 44 and the firing of Coach P) but we seem to agree often as well (shut up about SU basketball playing man to man and please stop doing the wave). One reason I became a fan though was because as long as you discussed the issues with him and did not go crazy, even if he disagreed with you, he treated you with respect.

When a big time story hit a bit too close to home, I shared my view with him and he allowed me to share my views. When he wanted listeners to participate in his Blind Side segment (which is my favorite in radio), I jumped at the chance and sat in my sweaty call in 100 degree heat just to have some quiet to participate and LOVED IT! When I asked him in 2008 to do an interview for my blog, he was happy and willing despite me being new to the blogging thing. When I met him in person at the #140Cuse conference in Syracuse earlier this year, he welcomed me as though we had been friends for years and I enjoyed our conversation (I often wonder if my orange suspenders revealed my identity).

Now Brent has not said what his new venture will be and as far as I know, he will continue to work with syracuse.com. I am sure he will use his Twitter account to reveal his future when the timing is right. He says he will remain in Syracuse in some form and I for one am glad to hear this as I think his voice is needed in the Syracuse market. He is a local lacrosse guy who grew up in CNY and knows how the fans think and feel. This is why from 2-6pm during the week, my phone becomes a radio and I enjoy hearing about the sport world from Brent’s eyes.

This is not a goodbye to Brent (the first video was because I know how much Brent loves Bruce) but a way to say goodbye to the Syracuse tradition that his show has become over the past few years and wish him the best in his future endeavors. I will still gladly harass him on Twitter and share my lame jokes but come Monday next week, I won’t be able to turn on the radio and here this show that helps guide me through the rest of my work day (as long as work does not interfere with the Blind Side segment, Top 5 or the great guests he seems to find).

So this Friday I hope everyone will tune in one last time as Brent Axe will go start off his show with those famous words. Good luck Brent Axe and thank you for making afternoons and sports radio enjoyable.